The Stupidest Angel Chapter 21

Chapter 21AVENGING ANGELOh shit, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, Theo thought. He twisted his ankle when he hit the ground pain shot up his leg kind trigger-happy liquid fire. He fell and rolled onto his c everyplace charge in the mud. Hed pushed the hostile unlesston that unlocked the tend Roer too soon the fomite had chirped and the demoralises had blinked, alerting the undead. Hed made the jump blind, and missed. They were coming for him.He pushed himself up and started hopping toward the hunt Rover the car key ready in his right make it, his flashlight lost behind him in the mud.Grab him, you rotting fucks, screamed Dale P pinnuleson.Theo fell preliminary as his devout foot slipped out from chthonic him, but he rolled confirm to his feet, a bolt of pain shooting blanched across his shin. He caught himself on the back window of the black identify Rover, snatching at the rear wiper for balance. He risked a glance back toward his pursuers and meetd a loud thump by his he ad fol imprinted by a deafening screech. He turned just in eon to see a ske altogetherowal woman sliding across the crownwork of the Range Rover, leading with her teeth. He ducked, but non before he felt fingernails raking his neck, teeth thumping into his scalp. She rode him to the ground and he could feel a grating pain in his head as the zombie essay to bite through his skull. His position was pushed into the mud. His nostrils and mouth filled with piss, and amid a twinkle whiteness of terror he thought, Im so sorry, mollie.Yuck Thats hideous give tongue to Bess Leander, cough up a couple of teeth on the back of Theos head.Marty in the first light grabbed Theo by the head and licked the teeth marks that Bess had left. Thats horrible. Hes st unrivalledd. Im not alimentation st bingled b rainwaters.The undead moaned in disappointment.Get him up, said Dale.Theo inhaled a gr play out nebuliser of mud along with his first breath and he went into a spit up fit as the undea d lifted him up and held him against the back window of the Range Rover. Someone wiped the mud out of his eyes, and a stench that made him croak filled his nostrils. He could see the dead but animated await of Dale Pearson only inches from his own. The corpses foul breath overwhelmed him. Theo tried and true to twist away from the ugly Santa, but decaying hands held his head fast.Hey, hippie, said Dale. He held Theos flashlight toss off pat(p) by his Santa beard to illuminate his face from be baseborn. thither were two mark of bloody drool running take down either side of the beard. Youre not thinking that your pot-smoking ways are going to accomplish you, are you? Dont. He pulled a snub-nose revolver out of the sack of his red coat and shoved it down the stairs Theos chin. Well stool plenty to eat. We toilette afford to waste you. Dale ripped open the secure fasteners of Theos jacket and started feeling around his waist. No gun? You suck as a lawman, hippie. He went t o the pockets of Theos cop shirt. just now this The one thing you can be depended on for.Dale held up Theos lighter, indeed reached in, tore the whole pocket off the cop shirt, and wrapped the dry fabric around the lighter. Marty, get going this. Keep it dry. Dale gave the lighter to a rotting guy with a prankish Ziggy Stardust red mullet, who slogged back to the pile of debris at the side of the chapel.Theo watched as Marty in the Morning bent over the pile of plywood, pine branches, two-by-fours, cardboard, and the torn-up bole of Ben Miller. The wind was still whipping, the rain less intense now, but level off so the drops stung Theos face when they hit.Dont light, dont light, dont light, Theo chanted in his head, but then his hope drained away when he saw the orange break open catch on the debris, and Marty in the Morning pull away with his sleeve on fire.Dale Pearson stepped aside so Theo could see the fire whipping up the side of the building, then put the .38 agains t Theos temple. Take a good as legitimate at our shortsighted barbecue fire, hippie. Its the last thing youre going to see. Were gonna eat your crazy wifes brains char-broiled.Theo smiled, happy that mollie wasnt inside, wouldnt be part of the massacre.I didnt heed Shave and a Haircut, said Ignacio Nunez. Did you hear Shave and a Haircut? gather panned his flashlight across a dozen frightened faces, then one whole side of the chapel went orange with the light from the fire extracurricular the windows. One woman screamed, others stared in horror as smoke started to glide in around the window frames.Change of plan, Tuck said. We go now. Guys in await of your groups. Give the car keys to the next person back.Theyll be delay for us, said Val Riordan.Fine, you burn up, Tuck said. Guys, knock over whatever gets in your way, everyone behind just keep going for the cars.All the barricades and braces had been re keepd from the chapel thresholds. Tuck put his shoulder against one do or, Gabe Fenton was on the other. Ready. One, two, threesomeThey threw their shoulders against the doors and bounced back into the others. The doors had only opened a couple of inches. Someone shone a flashlight through the gap to reveal a huge pine-tree dust prepare against one of the doors.New plan, shouted Tuck.Theo tried to look at the fire, but he couldnt see beyond the undead eyes of Dale Pearson. Thought had fled. There was just fear and anger and the pressure of the gun barrel against his temple.He heard a whooshing sound and a thump by his ear and the gun barrel was gone. Dale Pearson was stepping away from him, holding a dark pigeonhole where his gun hand had just been. Dale opened his mouth to shout something, but in that second a thin line appeared across his face at nostril level and half of his head slid to the ground. He slumped in a pile at Theos feet. The hands that were holding Theo let go.Brains screamed one of the undead. Crazy-woman brainsTheo fell on top of Dales rekilled body, then spun around to see what was happening.Hi, honey, molly said. She stood on the roof of the Range Rover, grinning, wearing a leather jacket, sweatpants, and her red Converse All Stars, holding the ancient Japanese sword in Hasso No Kamae before her, the steel gleaming orange in the light from the burning church. There was a dark swath across the blade where it had hewn the head of the zombie Santa. Theo had never been a religious man, but he thought in that instant that this must be what it was care to look on the face of an avenging holy man.The zombies who had been holding Theo reached for Mollys legs, and in a angiotensin-converting enzyme motion she stepped back and brought the sword around in a low arc that sent a rain of severed hands trajectory into the mud. The undead wailed around her, and tried to claw their way onto the SUV with their stumps. Bess Leander tried to replicate the move she had used on Theo, stepping up the hood behind Molly and nosedive across the roof of the Range Rover. Molly spun and sidestepped, making a low swing with her sword that would have not looked out of place on a golf course. Besss head rolled off the top of the reason Rover into Theos lap. He pushed it aside and got to his feet.Honey, you might want to go let everyone out of the chapel before they burn up, said Molly. Im not sure you want to watch this. Kay, said Theo.The undead had left their stations at the front and back doors of the chapel, where they had been waiting to ambush the escaping partyers, and charged Molly. Three fell decapitated while Molly stood on the Land Rover, but as they ring her, she ran and leaped over the heads of the mob, landing behind them.Theo ran for the front doors of the chapel, his vision blurred from the rain and the blood running into his eyes from the bite wound on his head. He looked back for a second and saw Molly sailing over the top of her attackers.He to the highest degree ran into two great pi ne logs that had been braced against the chapel doors. He looked back a second and caught a glance of Molly mowing down two more zombies, one split down the center of attention from the crown of his head to his sternum, then he turned and tried to get his back under one of the logs.Theo, is that you? Gabe Fenton had his face pressed in an inch-wide gap between the doors.Yeah. There are logs against the doors, Theo said. Im going to try to move them.Theo took three deep breaths and lifted for all he was worth, feeling as if veins would explode in his temples. The wound on his head throbbed with every heartbeat.But the tree trunk moved a couple of inches. He could do this.Is it working? yelled Gabe.Yeah, yeah, said Theo. Give me a second.Its filling up with smoke in here, Theo.Right. Theo strained again and the log moved some other two inches to the right. another(prenominal) foot and theyd be able to get the door open.Hurry, Theo, said Jenny Masterson. Its She went into a cou gh out fit and couldnt finish what she was saying. Theo could hear everyone coughing inside. Wails of rage and pain were coming from the side of the chapel where Molly was fighting. She must be okay, they were still yelling about eating her brain.Another lift, another two inches. Gray smoke was streaming out the pushover between the doors. Theo fell to his knees with the effort and al nearly passed out. He shook himself back into consciousness, and as he prepared to put his back into another effort, hoping it wouldnt be his last, he noticed that the screaming had stopped at the side of the chapel. Rain, wind, the coughing of the trapped, and the crackle of the fire. That was all he heard. Oh my God. Molly he screamed.A hand on his pertness, a voice at his ear. Hey, sailor, need a little hand getting your church door open, if you know what I signify?Sirens sounded in the distance. Someone had seen the burning chapel through the storm and had somehow gotten through to the voluntee r fire department. The Lonesome Christmas survivors were gathered in the middle of the parking lot, illuminated by headlights. The heat from the fire had driven them nearly seventy-five yards to the street.Even this far away, Theo could feel the heat on his cheek from the fire as Lena Marquez bandaged his head. Others sat in the open hatchbacks of SUVs, difficult to catch their breath after being exposed to the smoke, drinking bottled water or just lying there dazed.Around the burning chapel the wet pine forest steamed, a great white defame rising into the sky. Down the left side of the chapel carnage a re cleaning ground of the undead, where Molly had hacked them into submission, even chasing down the last few in the woods and decapitating them after she and Theo had let the partyers out of the chapel.Molly sat beside Theo, under the open hatchback of someones Expedition.How did you know? he get hold ofed. How could you possibly have know?The bat told me, Molly said.You typi fy he showed up and you said, Whats wrong, boy, is Timmy trapped down a well? and he barked to tell you thats what was wrong? Like that?No, Molly said. It was like, Your husband and a bunch of other people have blockade themselves in the chapel against a horde of brain-eating zombies and you need to go save them. Like that. He has some kind of accent. Sounds Spanish.I for one am glad that you went off your meds, said do the dishes Case, who was standing next to Lena as she bandaged Theos head. A few hallucinations are a small toll to pay, if you ask me.Molly held up her hand for him to be quiet. She stood and brushed the pilot program aside, looking back toward the burning church. A tall dark public figure in a long coat was coming toward them through the killing field.Oh no, said Theo. Everyone get in the cars and lock them.No, Molly said, dismissing Theos instructions with a distracted backward wave. Were okay. She met the nonesuch in the middle of the parking lot. blithe Ch ristmas, said the angel.Yeah, you, too, said Molly.Have you seen the child? Joshua? asked Raziel.Theres a kid over there with the others, said Molly. Thats probably him.Take me to him.Thats him, Theo said. Thats the robot guy.Shhhhhh, Molly shushed.Raziel walked to where Emily bow-wow was holding her son, Joshua, sitting on the back of Mollys Honda.Mom, wailed Joshua. He hid his face in his mothers chest.But Emily was still stunned by witnessing her mates death, and she didnt react at all except to hold the boy tighter.Raziel put his hand on the boys head. maintenance not, he said. For I bring you tidings of great joy. Behold, your Christmas wish has been relented. The angel waved toward the fire and the carnage and the exhausted and terrified survivors as if he were a game-show hostess presenting a washer/dryer set. non what I would have wished for, the angel said, but I am but a small messenger.Josh rolled in his mothers arms and faced the angel. I didnt ask for this. This isn t what I wished for.Sure it is, said Raziel. You wished that the Santa you saw killed be brought back to life.No, I didnt.Thats what you said. You said you treasured him brought back to life.Thats not what I meant, said Joshua. Im a kid. I dont always get stuff right.Ill vouch for that, said Tucker Case, stepping up behind the angel. He is a kid, and he is wrong most of the time.We still should cut your head off, said Josh.See, said Tuck. Always wrong.Well, if you didnt mean you treasured him brought back to life, what did you mean? asked Raziel.I didnt mean I wanted Santa to be a zombie and kill big, dumb Brian and everything. I wanted everything to be okay. Like it never happened. So it would be a good Christmas.Thats not what you said, said Raziel.Thats what I wanted, said Joshua.Oh, said the angel. Sorry.So hes an angel? Theo said to Molly. Like a real angel?Molly nodded, smiling.Not a killer robot?Molly shook her head. Hes here to grant a Christmas wish, to one child.Like it never happened? the angel asked Joshua.Yeah said Josh.Oops, said the angel.Molly stepped over and put her hand on the angels shoulder. Raziel, you fucked up. vivify it?The angel looked at her and grinned. Perfect teeth, if a little sharp.So be it, he said. Glory to God in the highest, peace on Earth, gracility toward men.